So many reason to leave him.. so many differences between us..

Huh.. lagi" gw harus berkeluh kesah di blogs tempat muntahan segala unek" gw ttg dia. Setelah curhat panjang lebar ma sohib ku & nyokap nya gw aga sedikit lega.. gw tdk bs menjalani hubungan yg ringkih gini.. bentar" ribut.. bentar baik lagi.. capeeeeeeeeeeeeek bgt, n malu bgt gw ma keluarganya.. terlihat jelas disini bahwa gw n dia sangat" tdk dewasa.. Dg terpaksa gw menceritakan segala unek" & kekecewaan gw sm dia ke nyokap nya.. karna gw ga mau ada kesalah pahaman lg antara gw ma nyokapnya.. sebenernya ini bukan gw bgt, yg punya masalah dikit langsung ngadu, cuma ya dr pd nantinya nyokapnya bingung ma tingkah gw.. & buat gw ini saat yg tepat utk nunjukin kalo disini gw yg selalu dikecewain ma dia.. & bkn tanpa alasan kalo gw selalu ngambek, marah, kesel ma dia..
Padahal gw lg butuh support dr dia disaat gw lg frustasi sm masa depan karir gw.. eh ga tau kenapa dia kambuh lg penyakitnya yaitu nyuekin gw..
Yg gw sesalin kenapa sifat cuek, tempramen, angkuh, sombong, tinggi hati, banyak gaya depan org nya itu ga ilang" ya.. pdhal itu sifat yg rendahan bgt buat gw.. tp kenapa jg gw mesti mencintai org dg perilaku mengkhawatirkan seperti ini. Gw bahkan ga yakin akan mencintai dia seumur hidup gw kalo dia msh meliara sifat" kaya gt.. So, gw harus bnr" survive dlm menjalani hidup gw, lupain kalo dia nantinya mampu nafkahin gw lahir batin.. sementara utk memenuhi kebutuhan nya sendiri aja kadang msh ngandelin ortunya.. Ya Allah.. aku berharap bgt sifat" tsb bs hilang dr dia.. & semoga kesadaran utk bertanggung jawab sm diri & org yg dia sayang bisa segera tumbuh dr dirinya..

Sex in the city the movies

Menurut gw film ini punya tempat tersendiri buat gw sbg the best movie's in 2008 kemaren. Couse this movie very touchy, about friendship 4 girls in the big town. Ampir semua dr film itu gw suka, ya ceritanya, dressnya, settingannya, pokoknya semuanya...

Waiting some happiness

There's nothing to say when someone you love leave you in not right time... My wishes, my dreams, gone once he decide to leave me without any reason.
I know it's all about dignity, pride & prejudice. So we don't want to hurt each other again. After many weeks we not connected, whether he feels like I'm feel now? maybe no, cause he not try to fixed our condition. He just stay away from me. Many think comes to my head, especially my negative thinking... maybe he really tired with me, with my complain about his attention to me which is more and more decrease...
In my deepest heart I still hope that he just need to take a break to us to correction our attitude.
Should we pass this condition? if is our fate, what can I say, because I can't blame my destiny. It's very hard to realize, this is the answer my pray to Allah S.W.T during this time. Ya Allah... Hopefully I can pass this moment with grateful...

Menjelang New year 2009

This night all of people celebrate the new year.. and me, I'm still here, in my small room, alone at home, but i'm not loneliness since the internet have entertained me all night long..
Seharian dikantor org" banyak yg ngomongin ttg "what you're plan tonight???" hmmm... kebanyakan yg udah pd cuti pastinya tau kemana mereka bakalan abisin mlm taun baruannya, n yg msh ngantor pun jg msh ada yg ga punya rencana apapun mlm ini.. tp mereka (tmn" gw pastinya), yg ga punya rencana apapun tau apa yg bakal buat mereka happy mlm ini, yg terlihat dimata gw siy scr mereka pd punya pasangan, ya itu suami atau pacar... gw ngamatin ini sebagai fenomena hidup gw, kalo gw mundur kebelakang tiap mlm taun baru gw kebanyakan mah emang gada yg istimewa jg, scr gada pacar jg yg nemenin disetiap mlm taun baru gw.. cuma aja, msh terasa bgt diingatan gw, mlm taun baru terakhir yg dah gw lewatin kemaren, berasa istimewa bgt buat gw scr gw bersama keluarga pacar utk pertama kalinya ngerayaain taun baruan brg.. pdhal si pacar ini udah bertaon" menyandang status sbg pacar gw..
gw cool" aja n no thing happen until my best friend call my and she's very worry for me ya scr lah ya... she knows about my condition now.. gw terharu bgt akan sikapnya itu.. bahkan org yg dah gw anggap soulmate gw aja gada khawatir"nya ma gw.. gw sedih.. gw sempet gemeter n menitikan air mata pas my best friend nyebutin kegalauannya ttg gw itu.. tp selesai gw solat isya td gw merasa tenang.. n alhamdulillah sedih gw ga berkepanjangan.. karna saat ini gw pikir, hidup gw akan + rumit kalo gw selalu mikirin dia.. sekarang gw punya cita" n harapan.. n gw harap insyaAllah, Allah mau mengabulkan permintaan terbesar gw.. amin..
ya stralah ya.. new year it's just a symbol, and i'm will happy although alone at home.. hahahaha.. :-)

I'm truly dissappointed

I wondered, why after all he did I still love him. I realize love not only base for keep our relation. After almost 3 years I give him chances, & he have tried to fulfill my needs, but why I'm still not surely he'll be my future.. Hey, I'm sure he not try so hard to make me satisfy & he wouldn't sacrifice anything for me..
Now I just written in my small room.. to cheers up my day,
This day it's a day i wait since last week he didn't come.. & apparently nothing happen special come out.. maybe this night i'll buy some game cd's.. only for figure out my distress from my mind..
huh.. (**sigh)
Ok I have configured your puzzle, & I finally get your message. Eventually I know what you means.. This 'is what you want & you waiting I do this from a long time ago..
I'm out. i'll be free & so do you..

Nyanyi2 di Music Pool

Jumat kemaren tiba2 aja jam stengah 5an gt si Nike n Pipit ngajakin gw karokean, hmmmm... tanpa pikir panjang langsung aja gw tolak mentah2 scr gw bingung mo plg ma sapa mlm2 gt. Tp setelah mereka memaksa n merayu gw akhirnya gw mau jg, scr klo plg kerumah jg plg2 tdr, suatu kegiatan yg plg gw minati tp bosen jg... Ya, gw pikir mumpung jumat scr besokannya libur, kenapa tdk utk ikutan brg mereka. Pulang dr kantor gw sm temen2 (Nike, Pipit, Dina, Winur, Rendy, n tmnnya si Pipit nmnya Ferdi klo ga slh) Langsung jalan ke Music Pool di daerah kebayoran baru situ, sebelahan 21 Wijaya.
Kita pilih Medium Room ga terlalu gede jg siy, tp cukuplah buat 7 org... Mlm itu kita beneran pol2an nyanyi2nya mpe suara gw abis... Selesai2 jam stengah 10 kurang... 3 jam bwo kita nyanyi... ya lumayanlah ngilangin kepenatan dr rutinitas yg menjemukan.

I'm totally confused

Uhh... like sank in the deep river... I'm so tired with this whole thing... I want dissapear or just go to unknown island... then find out something new, which can open my mind from vagueness...
But after my discussion this morning with my friend, I feel much better than last night.

She was my truly best friend... although sometimes she's make me disapointed with her attitude. But her advise, make me feel better. Thanks for share anything with me... always exist in any situation, never judge me although sometimes I have mistake to make decision. You're support make me able to cheers up and back to stand up. You are very understand about me... Therefore our friendship consist until now. Rightnow I know where I must going when I cry and sharing my happiness...
Without you, maybe now I'm goin crazy Thanks for being my best friend dear...

Gara-gara Kipas Angin

Akhirnya smlem gw berhasil jg tdr cpt, lumayanlah jam 10an dah ketidur, scr belakangan aga2 susah mo meremin mata. Lgan akhir2 ini klo mlm gw suka berasa kegerahan, so semalem pas mo tdr tuh fan gw dktin kebadan gw, alhasil bgn2 kepala gw asli skt bgt n tersa beraaaat bgt, + tenggorokan lgsung ga enak, dah gt badan berasa meriang. Pengen ga msk tp ga enak scr gw srg bgt ijin sakit... Hr ini gw bnr2 maksain diri untuk kerja pdhal gw bnr2 butuh bed rest, mana ruangan gw dinginnya dah kya kulkas, dooh... pulang nanti gw bnr2 harus tdr cpt, tp kudu kedokter dl, scr gw dah ga mempan lg mkn obat2an warung gt...
hueeee, pgn pulang...